we’ve already established i will watch anything. movies, tv shows, vertical dramas, whatever. apparently my only requirement is that the pictures move, and i’d watch that shit.
while watching these things, i noticed that sometimes the casting director gets it exactly right. and sometimes they get it so right that it becomes a public safety concern. LIEK why would you give the psychopath the most perfect face i have ever seen???? how am i supposed to follow my morals?????
anyway, i needed somewhere to keep track of these incidents, so this is the hot man index: an ongoing record of men who were cast a little too successfully, evaluated using a scientifically backed rating system that i made up myself.
why?????
because feminism means men deserve to be judged entirely on their looks. equality!!!
1. Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley
hooo boyyyy
the one that started it all.
jude law as dickie greenleaf is exactly what every rich, blond, blue-eyed asshole in a romcom should look like. this is how girls end up sneaking out of their bedroom windows and ruining their relationships with their mothers.
hot man index: matt damon turning gay for this man is a crime i can get behind/10
2. Tom Welling in Smallville
like what do you even want me to say. that’s superman alright. no further questions.
hot man index: the reason an entire generation developed unrealistic expectations for men/10
3. Aidan Turner in And Then There Were None
[updated august 1, 2026]
but of course, philip lombard my mannnnnnnnnnnn
probably my favorite on this list because what do you mean he’s a cold-blooded killer with the face of a man who should’ve been painted on the sistine chapel???? every time he came onscreen i understood the phrase “carved by the gods” a little more personally. absolutely irresponsible casting
hot man index: MAKE THIS MAN THE NEXT JAMES BOND!!!!!/10
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